I am back after 3 days being hospitalised. Seperti yang aku jangka, memang I had to be put on a machine - depending on it to clean my blood. My kidney has reached end stage and I need the help of a machine, 3 times a week for 4 hours each time. What have I done to my life? This is indeed a big change to us both - financial wise, time and whatever that we may think of after this. My physicals have changed. I now have a catether attached to my neck. A rather ugly looking plastic tubes used as bridge between the artificial kidneys and me. And this will be here until I do the vascular surgery on my arm and until it heals 6 weeks later. Aduhhh dah la hodoh nak kene buat vascular surgery tu will need money. Mana aku nak cekau ni?
Aku masuk 3rd class ward je pun. No fancy private hospital sebab I cannot afford it. Memang gaji aku banyak dan company ada cover some medical tapi I have used the facility and gaji tu bak orang kata, besar peruk besar la keraknya. Takde la aku banyak hutang ke apa but my medicine costs every month, kasi orang tua, car maintenance (tu nasib baik bawak keta comey je tu), maintenance rumah dan macam-macam lagi la. Nak beli insurance tak layak sebab they don't and won't cover me sebab I am a juvvey diabetic, so automatically diabetes and those related to it memang la tak di cover. And no point paying a bomb for it kalau what I really need it for tu is not catered for. Takpe la, 3rd class hospital tu ok lagi... baru lagi serba serbi cuma nurses dia je la ada blur sket huhuhu.
Aku kene marah ngan doctor sebab defaluted my nephro appointment in July. Masa tu I was going for umrah and the nephrologist said kalau my creatanine level takde improvement, I won't be able to go - and I really wanted to go sebab aku tau kalau aku tak pi masa tu, ntah aku akan dapat pergi tak haji 2013 - kalau ikut that will be my turn. Biasa la... oramg banyak penyakit kan.
Moreover company aku skang ni baru dapat HR manager baru, so sibuk la dia mengimpliment new things yang menyebabkan aku tak berapa berani dan tak berapa bebas keluar waktu kerja untuk attend doctors appointment. My leave pun dah banyak exchausted - MC pun. MC exhausted sebab I went for laser treatment kat mata ada blood vassel pecah (also due to kidney failure ni la) and everytime treatment I had to go straight home and sleep. Silau beb, macamana nak kerja sedangkan kerja aku menatap PC 8 jam sehari.
Ok la nasib baik masuk spital 3 hari je. Tu pun aku dah rimas, tak leh tido sebab lampu terang - whoever la yang boleh tido kat spital tu aku respect la. Last year masa aku kene stroke pun aku masuk the same ward, the bed opposite mine this time. Walaupun nurses hospital ni blur tapi they are very friendly and boleh la dikatakan efficient juga. Cuma they can be noisy at times.
I'll be doind dialysis at this hospital for the next 2 weeks. Next Monday kene pi HKL nephrology clinic plak to meet the specialist. Kat Hospital skang ni takde Nephro specialist so they referred my case to HKL la. OOooooo lala... I hate HKL, spooky and old!
OK, dah kene buat hemodialysis ni... ada beza ke? Takdenye! Dari tengahari tadi aku dah start muntah balik. Stop muntah for a day saja. Malam tadi aku hypo and today muntah-muntah balik, kene sorong la katil masa cuci darah tadi dan aku plak mengusung muntah tu dari dialysis center tu to my place kat wad. Kesian la kat A 2 -3 hari ni penat dia dan tadi mas discharge kan aku, mata dia merah sebab he hasn't been sleeping well lately - banyak kerja from office katanya. Aku plak suka kacau dia malam-malam ni bila dah takleh tido... hmmmm kesian kan? Tapi kalau tak kerana A aku mungkin tak tak tabah hadapi semua ni. Untuk pengetahuan sesapa je la yang membaca. My dad, my adik beradik - nobody from home came these past 3 days to visit me - betul la aku kata, apa pun I will end up alone jugak!
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