Will be spending the day (and night) alone again today. A is again away on his conference. Something happened last night - aku merajuk ngan A. Malam kan aku ada meeting ngan the guy who offered me the job tu, so A followed la (he was having the car and fetched me from home from his conference and then took me to the place). Aku suruh A makan dulu so he bought McD and I only asked for coffee with the intention of eating lepas meeting tu. A by all means could have joined us as he is working in the same industry and it could be an opening for him too - bukannye untuk kerja full time tapi freelance but as usual he would prefer to shy away and I thought he was watching football shown at the mamak restaurant but he was waiting in the car. The meeting pulak took longer than expected - about 3 hours or so. Bukan apa, orang ni sesat, orang tu sesat (aku ingat dorang ni dah biasa dengan tempat tu as they were the one who suggested the place pun).
Tapi kan 3 jam aku jumpa bebudak tu pun tak la selama mana - tak la selama yang selalu aku kene tunggu A jumpa kawan-kawan dia yang selalunya kalau tak amik 5 hours per meeting tak sah - only that I didn't wait in the car la, tapi aku tunggu kat rumah - sama je kan? Like today, yesterday, the night before and the the night before that sampai kul 3 pagi aku tunggu - and I never tarik muka masam. Tapi ni la sekali aku pi jumpa a group of people yang I don't consider my friends pun, just people who are giving me an opportunity to better my life, my financial standing - untuk kebaikan kami berdua jugak - balik ke kereta muka A dah macam biasa masam semasamnya. Dengan tak bersuara sampai la kat rumah. Aku pun sampai tak makan, dah la sehari suntuk aku tak makan tunggu dia balik. Hmmm tak apa la, nak buat macamana dah perangai dia macam tu.
Tapi aku rasa kecik ati la, A wanted to go back to his mom's place and I never stopped him - just so happened that I had this prolonged meeting, takkan tak boleh give and take kot? Masa turunkan aku kat rumah pun, salam, A tak tengok pun muka aku, tak pun kuit-kuitkan jari dia kat tapak tangan aku macam biasa - marah la tu - and when I said "I love you" dia balas "hmmm". Hmmm je ke?! Aku lagi la merajuk. And he just zommed off lepas tu..
Later dia sms (aku diam je, protes tak sms soh dia drive carefully macam selalu) telling me dah sampai tapi sms dia bunyik "I dah sampai dah. Goodnite." Lagi la aku malas nak layan, saying goodnite rightaway is as though putting a full stop to that day's conversation (macam la we've had any conversation pun kan these past few days) I kept quiet, tak balas pun sms tu, switched off the TV and went to sleep.
Tiba-tiba a coupel of hours later, someone entered the room - A balik - agaknya dia serba salah ke, dia risau ke aku tak balas sms ke or maybe it finally made sense to him ke aku tak tau. Nak manja-manja ngan aku slept beside me tapi aku buat tak tau lagi... haaaa padan muka.
So pagi ni aku kejut la jugak dia untuk pi conference tu, (kalau aku tak kerjut kang jadik citer lain plak and aku tanak panjang-panjangkan citer as A ni kalau dah merajuk mengalahkan budak kecik nak pujuk - so biarla aku je yang merajuk bukan dia) Aku tak bangun pun dari katil, A kissed and hugged me and left. Hmmmm so, should I still merajuk masa dia balik malam kang? Yang pastinya bila dia dah dengan kawan-kawan dia kat conference tu dia lupakan aku. Aku makan ke tidak ke bukan dia kisah dan tanya pun macam semalam - sehari suntuk takde pun sms atau call tanay aku buat apa ke, dah makan ke, am I ok ke? Tengok la kalau aku rajin kang aku sambung la merajuk tu heheheh...