I suddenly realised tonight that the only reason why God has let me lived this long and added a year to my age sebab Dia nak aku melalui apa yang telah ditulis untukku. Dengan itu aku perlu redha dan sentiasa bersedia menempuhi apa saja yang He planned for me.

Memang sepatutnya aku tak perlu takut. Aku ada A dan aku ada A. Aku hanya ada A sedangkan aku sendiri tahu benar perangai keluarga ku yang hanya pandai berkata-kata tapi when the time comes to doing it, harammmmm.... but I have A and I shouldn't be afraid.
After 2 weeks of torture vomitting non stop, losing weight and not having appetite at all, apatah lagi nak bekerja. dah seminggu lebih pun aku asik MC. Tonight I made up my mind, after contemplating with the idea whether to go to the hospital or to just let it be. The phone call I made to the clinic petang tadi mengatakan yang memang my creatanine level dah naik to 1300+ and my urea level is extremely high. The doctor yang mungkin aku lebih pandai daripadanya kerana I was the one who suggested for the blood test, dan dia asik bagi aku ubat gastric, suggested I go to the hospital immediately. I have delayed this moment for over 2 months now. Putting aside the idea of depending on a machine for life sampai bergaduh ngan bapa sendiri but perhaps this is the time that he fulfils his promises. Proving to me
 that he is really a good father yang selama ini aku sangkal sebab kerananya ibuku merana, kerananya juga kami adik beradik derita. And it's from his blood that i got penyakit keturunan ni. Believe me, every single person in his family has diabetes and I got it when I was 16.
So I told A in between vomits to take me to the hospital. Memang A dah offer dari tadi but I told him I didn't want to go. Bergegas la A amikkan my toiletries. my baju and put them in a bag. I know what's waiting for me at the hospital karang and I definitely know it's going to be one long stay....